There's just a whole lot of gray in my hair these days.
On top of that, the lines under my eyes don't smooth out, no matter what concoction of filler or revitalizer or primer I use. The line that I noticed crossing my forehead in my twenties has deepened and invited a couple of friends to hang out there full time.
Not to mention whiskers.
I don't want to rain on the parades of any pert twenty-somethings that might be reading this, but getting older can be ghastly. I once bragged that, for a gardener, I had no problem with cracked feet like many gardeners that I know. Within a couple months my big toe developed a painful fissure and now I struggle to keep it from getting sore whenever I work outdoors (which is basically all summer). Of course I don't have scientific proof that cracked heels or toes has anything to do with my age, but it's another glaring example of how I feel like everything is changing as I
|Does this mustache make my nose look big?|
When I was pregnant with J I didn't colour my hair, paint my nails, or do anything that involved chemicals. Same with my second pregnancy, with O. After we had J there was really no money. When my last drop of hairspray was gone I didn't buy more. I used up all the last partial bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash etc that we had in the back of closets and in the bottom of suitcases. None of my clothes fit. I continued to gain weight after having the baby and, like most new moms, my world was upside down as far as sleep and routine were concerned.
I'm not complaining. Those baby years taught me a lot. For one thing, I was absolutely certain that we would be okay money-wise. I often said that at that stage I wasn't able to earn but I could do my best to save and that I did. We paid off Husband's debts, his dirt bike, his truck. This was while we had bought our very affordable house in a small time and did some updates on it. All the while, I didn't have hairspray and finally I ran out of foundation for my tired looking skin.
And I resented it.
At some point I began to feel that our success at paying off debts was coming out of my own hide, if you will. I actually signed up to sell Avon so that I could get the discount on the products that I wanted. I am still using them (got most of them for free and they've lasted all these years with my infrequent use), although I didn't cut it as a salesperson ;)
Slowly, over a few years, I began to buy a few pieces of clothing and now have a winter and summer wardrobe that, while not flashy or expensive or overly "hip", I am comfortable wearing. My friend dyes my hair in exchange for baking or meals (my mom is also a hairdresser but she's so busy all the time I try not to bother her with one more job). My point, though, is I have found that I am happier when I feel like I've pampered myself a bit or at least paid some attention to how I look. And, as a very frugal person, I think it is important to draw the line when frugality starts to make you unhappy/unappreciated.
As I see myself starting to look older, I have to acknowledge that this is the start of the next phase of my life. Yes, I'm frugal. I buy literally nothing that isn't essential or food. I especially don't buy much for myself, and that is a choice that I no longer resent. Because I have an almond scrub that I use on my face from time to time, and a tube of blue mask that makes my pores look so much better. I moisturize. I exfoliate. I use a toner and a primer and I finally threw away the eye shadow I bought in university (gross, I know).
I guess my point is, you can take care of yourself in a frugal way. I'm sure I will never get a day at the spa and I don't need that to be happy. I'm quite sure spending that much would make me ill. But I CAN do a few little things as part of my routine that make me feel better about myself. The main one is exercise and fresh air. A big one is adult conversation. And I'm finally admitting that trying to look nice makes me feel happier and there has to be a place for that in my frugal routine.
I read blogs where the women wear all thrift-store clothing and have forsaken make-up. Good on 'em. If they still feel beautiful (and believe me, they are!), then by all means I think that is wonderful. I think you need to find your comfort zone. If you are resisting cutting back on spending in one area, question why that is. In my case, I might spend $100-200 on clothes for myself in a year. Other years I might spend $0, yes, $0. This year I bought an $89 winter coat because the one I was wearing is misshapen from 2 pregnancies and I've been wearing it for over 8 years. It's very good quality and very warm (alpaca) so it's still in the closet, but...I felt dowdy. So I bought a new coat. I also got the winter boots I wanted because they were $100 less on a boxing day sale and my old ones were so worn down on the soles I kept wiping out on ice. For some people, having the money to buy new winter gear is something they dream of. I never lose sight of that. I have waited for 8 years to buy a new coat because I really didn't "need" one. This year I bought one because continuing to wear the old one had started to bring me down.
I don't want to resent the sacrifices I make for our financial goals. I also don't want to look tired and wore out.
I shop thrift stores, folks. There's not always something that fits or looks good. You put this body in a summer dress that is 10 years out of style and it is embarrassing. I don't spend much on clothing for myself but, when I do, I make sure it is something I will wear and feel good in. Yes that might be a hand-me-down from a friend or a thrift store find (love it when that happens!). But if I need a piece of clothing I will also watch for sales and shop around until I find what I need. No apologies. That is why I save. I buy absolutely nothing we don't need and I count our pennies. I do this mostly so that we have emergency funds for when Husband is not working (it's somewhat seasonal so there are down times to be expected every year). If times are tight, I am obviously not going to go buy myself something to wear. During those times I can do a home facial, using the drugstore products that I've had for years, and still feel good.
When you live frugally, especially if you are just starting out, it can get to feel like a lot of sacrifice. But a beauty regime is not much different than anything else--the more work you can do yourself, the more you can save. Buy a home waxing kit and skip the salon. Try colouring your own hair or ask your stylist if she works from home. Do your own nails. Go on Pinterest and look up a homemade facial. There are ways to pamper yourself and feel good without spending much. If you let your frugal endeavors steal your sparkle, though, there is a good chance you won't stick with it. Maybe it is better to allow yourself a few treats here and there and stick with the overall goal.
What is your opinion? Do you think it's okay to splurge a little, when the money is available of course, to feel better? And, if so, what is it that makes you feel better? Notebooks? Nice pens? A book to read? A new hairstyle? Coffee out? I'm interested!