Authenticity, Commitment and The Blog

You won't normally find grand statements or opinions expressed here. This is a place where I want to find positive connections between myself and what I'm doing. For that to happen, I want to strip this platform of any inclination to preach, complain or boast. And I want it to honestly illustrate my attempts at a more authentic life, including the failures and bugger-ups.

When I talk about authenticity, I mean the real me--the timid, terrified, self-conscious child the woman struggling with confidence that resides within. I mean the kitchen that needs swept, the baby that needs a bath, the supper I've made 100 times that suddenly doesn't turn out. I am no expert on any of the topics I've written about. I've got no discernible talent at all, really. I forget when to use an apostrophe and I take most of my pictures with my phone because it's one step closer than the camera. But yet I choose to write a blog.

This blog has already forced me to ask myself: how committed am I to keeping our home/ lifestyle/ choices environmentally friendly? The reality is it is often less expensive to chose less environmentally friendly options. In the short term it is tempting to save the money and commit to doing it "later". We have had to go with power and natural gas since solar and geothermal would add upwards of $55,000 CD to our mortgage. Cost is a very real barrier to making major lifestyle changes that we would otherwise make. As I find rebates and grants I will provide links and information. As it is, the geothermal grant ends this month and the shelterbelt program, after 111 years, has been discontinued by the Harper Government. Discouraging, really.

It is easy to write a post about what we want to do. It is quite another to go about doing it. So I'm using this blog to keep me honest. I tidy a couple feet of counter top in order to take pictures for the blog. It's tempting to come across like my whole house is spotless but it isn't--not usually--especially when I'm taking time to write and take pictures. My recipes are not the best ones out there, they are the best ones I have. I have felt inadequate a million times before realizing that a craft or recipe or flowerbed or home has been prepared and displayed on blogs and websites (read: pinterest!) to look its very best. It's like the burger in the commercial that has had the cheese melted and ketchup placed just so. But when you go to the drive-thru and some kid tosses it in the bag without so much as a hello, goodbye, or go screw yourself acknowledgement of any kind, there's your real life. There's your authentic. I'm not saying real life can't be beautiful and touching, I'm just saying I (and this blog) won't just be showing what turned out. Sometimes you learn more from what doesn't turn out--this site is about the learning.

I'm done now, I have to go make supper. I'm putting it out there for myself to remember: keep trying to do better, forgive yourself when you don't, and then try again. And blog about it.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

This weekend Husband had a couple days off, so we took the boys to my parents farm to see the first of the baby calves born there.

While the baby slept and the 3 year old played with gramma, we went to the acreage site to have another look:



this is where the house will go



this is where the large garden shed will go

It is nice to get a look at the property in all seasons. Although I've seen it all my life, I've only been looking at it through the eyes of a homeowner for a few months now. Have a great week!

Before and After: The Kitchen

February is a hard month to write about gardening. Everything is dormant under a blanket of snow, and my new garden only exists in my mind. But who doesn't love a before and after?

We bought this house four years ago, in fact, when we move out it will be four years to the day. Before moving in we painted while the house was empty and put down new laminate to replace shag rug in the master bedroom.After that we did things as we could afford.

Kitchen before:

 It took a year and a half to decide (and save for) what we wanted to do with the kitchen.



note the icky California-style ceiling


What we ended up with is this:

This picture shows the old stove, and the window has not yet been replaced. Once spring (finally) arrives and we get that window switched, I will update with a new picture. A new window will help with drafts, as that old one is no longer efficient.

I'm so pleased with how our kitchen turned out and, if you're interested in a similar update in your own home, the figures were approximately:

laminate countertop $1200
paint, primer $220
hardware $90
lighting $100
new window $350
backsplash $65

My figures are approximate, but this is basically what we paid. We were very fortunate that the ceiling above the ceiling tile/flourescent lights was finished the same as the rest of the house, otherwise it would have been hard for us to complete this project on our own. We painted the cupboards with a 10 month old in and out of everything, and I'm so proud of the job we did. We had the help of Husband's brother (wiring) and my mom (painting, hardware installation, childcare, sanity saver). I did not include the price of the appliances in the overall makeover budget because the fridge and dishwasher that came with the house died on us within weeks of moving in and we were forced to replace them then. I got a new stove and exhaust fan on kijiji this winter to complete our renovation. I would say the grand total is approximately $3200 but the difference in the style of our home is priceless.

Have you given your home any major updates or done anything to make it more energy efficient?

Our Wish House

The point of this blog is to organize my plans for the acreage we will build and move to in the summer of 2013. My goal is to record our progress for my own satisfaction, and perhaps provide some examples, resources, links, how-tos and "what-not-tos" for any interested readers.

This past summer we made several trips to the acreage site to plan, measure, dream. One day when we loaded up to leave home (an hour drive from the acreage location) our then two-year old asked if we were going to the "witch house" (see above). I thought that he said "wish house" and thought, "genius" and that it was an appropriate nickname for the new house. We have been wishing and planning for  a couple years now.

About a week later I realized he was calling it the witch house (I can't say I blame him, the old house would be spooky to a little boy!) but by then the name had stuck. We now talk all the time about what we will do at our Wish House.

We have made some changes to this, but it is the original floor plan of our wish house. Most notably, we have added an attached garage and thus made an entryway by the half-bath on the main floor.

We chose rustic natural hickory for cabinets (the cabinet place doesn't do white cupboards so I can scrap the 40 pictures of dream kitchens that I have on pinterest!). I was disappointed but went with a natural wood shaker-style door so that we can eventually paint them white (many many years from now) if I still really want to.

Next I get to fret over and pick paint colours...I've got it narrowed down to about 50 or so! There is a mind-boggling amount of selection.



These are my favorites...so far...


It is exciting to get to pick what goes in our new house, but a little stressful too! Have you built a house or done a major renovation?

Peanut Butter Cookies

We are just so sick of winter.

After a walk to the school playground, at least a dozen "second last" trips down the slide, and a game of "catch" in the living room, we were still at a loss for what to do. I poked through a couple of granny's old cookbooks and found a quick and easy recipe. Even if it doesn't turn out, it's something to do and not that expensive to try. These cookies took about 2 minutes to prepare and were very tasty--perfect for a lazy, restless day.

Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup chocolate chips (I used peanut butter chips)

Preheat oven to 325F. Combine peanut butter, sugar and egg. Add flour, stirring til well blended. Add chocolate chips, drop small amounts onto cookie sheet and press lightly with a fork (I rolled them into small balls, dipped in sugar, then pressed with a fork). Bake at 325F for 15 to 17 minutes.

Owen's Rolls

Most mothers nowadays like to tell the birth stories of their children. When I was pregnant with our first I was petrified of young mothers, knowing they were about to fill me in on the "gory" details. What is truly magical and the most intense experience of a woman's life can sometimes be recounted in a very graphic way. But bear with me, this is not one of those stories. In fact, it's actually the lead-up to a recipe.

I was two days past my due date and had buns in the oven (literally). It was a new recipe I had found over at www.chiotsrun.com. My brother texted asking if I was having the baby that day; I replied, "not unless I fall down the stairs". Our first had been induced, a slow labour. Why would this one be different? I got the two year old down for a nap and removed some nice looking rolls from the oven. I went for a nap and my labour started. To make a short story shorter, Husband flew home from work to get us and we barely made it to the hospital in time. A 35 minute drive took under 20 that day, and felt like an eternity. Our baby boy was born less than an hour later.

Now, for the point of the story (and a look at the rolls).

These are not the rolls I made that day.

We had a bouncing baby boy, 9 lbs 9 oz, in under 5 hours. We have always called these "Owen's Rolls" because he was such a rolly-polly baby, and I was making them when I went into labour. I don't know if I'll ever make them without thinking of that day. This is a simple and delicious recipe that always turns out for me. From someone who regularly bakes below expectation, that is high praise indeed. Thank you to Susy at Chiot's Run for permission to link to her recipe http://chiotsrun.com/?s=basic+rolls . Here is my adaptation:

Owen's Rolls
1 cup milk
1/3 cup butter
1/4 cup sugar
3/4 tsp salt
2 beaten eggs
4 to 5 cups flour (1 cup whole wheat)
1/4 cup ground flax
2 Tbsp yeast

-In large bowl, mix 1 cup whole wheat flour with 1 cup white flour and yeast. In medium saucepan combine milk, sugar, butter and salt and heat til butter starts to melt (120-130F)*.
-Add milk mixture to dry mix, along with eggs. Mix til incorporated then beat on high with hand mixer 3 minutes.
-Mix in as much remaining flour as possible--once it's too thick for mixer, transfer to counter top and knead. Dough should be soft but not too sticky.
-Knead 4 to 5 minutes til dough is smooth and elastic. Shape into ball and place in oiled bowl, let rise 1 hr or until doubled in size.
-Turn dough onto counter and divide into desired size rolls. Place on greased sheets, cover and let rise til doubled (45 mins)
-Bake at 375F 12-15 minutes (rolls) or 15-17 minutes (hamburger buns) til golden on top.

*now that I've made these several times I microwave the milk first to bring it nearer the desired temp. (too impatient I guess!) I use my candy thermometre but if you don't have one, remove from heat when butter starts to melt.

Have you got a favorite bun recipe? Or have you got an interesting baking-related story?

Friday Favorite: Newfoundland Dressing

The Husband is from Newfoundland, a place with unique culture, language, and food. For the most part, the people are extremely laid back, friendly, with a great sense of humour. Of course this has been my own experience, but I've never heard anyone say different. It's a wonderful place to visit, and all of this is before you check out the scenery.



Cape Spear: most easterly point in North America



Cape Spear 2007



Fort Amherst, viewed from Signal Hill



Aside from wonderful people and rugged, historical scenery, you haven't experienced Newfoundland until you've tried an authentic Jigs Dinner. This is a traditional Sunday dinner of salt beef boiled with turnip, cabbage, carrot, potato, greens, and peas pudding (yellow lentils). Quite often this feast is accompanied by a turkey and Newfoundland dressing, with gravy. Don't think about your diet, or your heart, and enjoy.

I would be remiss if I didn't include a picture of a lobster
 when talking about Newfoundland cuisine!



Cod, fries, dressing and gravy.
If I had known anyone would ever see this picture I wouldn't have
 added that dark piece of cod!



We love dressing. I make it with pickerel or jack fish, and for our regular holiday meals it has replaced stuffing. This is a big deal for me to admit, as stuffing was always my favourite part of the meal.

To make (4 servings):

 grate fresh bread with cheese grater, approx 3 cups*

melted margarine or butter, just to moisten bread crumbs

1/3 cup of onion, finely chopped

2 Tbsp savoury (we use Mont Scio, available in Newfoundland and Sobey's in western Canada) I hope to grow my own savoury next year.

*do not use dry breadcrumbs. Must use fresh bread! I save my crusts or any dry bread that would otherwise get composted or thrown out.



so easy a three year old can do it!



This is a very approximate recipe and, much like stuffing, anyone who makes it themselves will give you a different one. Our friend often adds cranberries and I've never had dressing that I didn't love. I'm leaving you with one last image, called "Kelly's Arse", found on the rear side of Kelly's Island, in Conception Bay South, Newfoundland.

Have you travelled to (or are you from) Newfoundland? Or, have you replaced a family recipe with one you've picked up travelling? Please share!