Going Whole Hog

A question that crosses my mind quite regularly is whether or not it is "worth it" to grow my own food, heat with wood, bake my own bread, make syrup from sap and the list goes on. Admittedly, there are days where it would certainly be easier to pick up what we need from the store rather than wait for it to grow or fix it, mend it or do without it. But there's something about quick and convenient that just doesn't set right with me. It seems somehow wrong to allow my kids to think everything comes easy, because in real life it doesn't. I am cautious about handing them everything they want as kids because I want them to adjust to adult life and be productive hard workers. Basically, I want them to see how long it takes for fruit to grow on a tree and experience how much better it tastes when you have watched it ripen. That's an analogy we could apply to many things we do around here.

There is something deeply gratifying about eating a meal you grew entirely on your own. Or foraging for native berries and having the time to visit the beach before going home. Or breaking bread that you baked yourself and enjoying it with homemade butter and jam made from the berries you picked that day you played on the beach. That is not to say that everyone needs to make their own butter to lead a fulfilled life! Mostly I mean slowing down to do some of the tasks that are often hired out. Blue berries from a store, air conditioned comfort, prepackaged life.

The money saved by doing these quiet, contemplative tasks is often negligible. By the time I buy the flour and yeast and work to bake the bread I may be money down, depending on the price of the flour. But what of my sanity?

What price do I put on teaching my sons age-old skills that, should they need them, will allow them to feed themselves no matter what they decide to do with their lives? When they learn to care for animals, haul the water, provide the shelter and feed, they think about a world bigger than themselves and their own wants. When they pick the berries and eat the jam they value the labour that goes into their food. When they stack the wood they learn to plan for tomorrow and use their bodies for useful tasks. They have all the space they want to run in, play in, grow in, and that is indeed priceless.

My friend had my kids over to decorate pumpkins with stickers. Since my own pumpkins didn't grow I planned to bake them down for making pumpkin bread. The pumpkins sat until I finally needed to get them out of the garage. I was busy and had a messy kitchen after a long tiring day. I wondered if it was worth it to bother. But why would I compost 4 perfectly good pumpkins then turn around and buy canned pumpkin at the store?

pumpkin puree

While supper cooked, the pumpkin bakes in the oven and I had the whole mess cleaned up by the time the kids were ready for bed.

pumpkin seeds

 We also enjoyed the roasted seeds very much. I ended up with 5 and a half Ziploc bags of puree, enough for 10 loaves of pumpkin bread. At around $3/can I saved $15, had a lovely visit with a neighbour while my kids played, and taught my kids to use up what might go to waste. Instead of spending money, I spent some time preparing local, chemical-free food.

Similarly, we recently had our pigs butchered. At different times this summer I really regretted venturing into pigs. Hauling the grain for them was time consuming and laborious and keeping their water clean and fresh was a chore I didn't love. I had to ask my mom to do my chores while we were away in the summer, which was quite a bit, and I hated to add to anyone's work load. Basically, the pigs were a lot of work but they were entertaining and they ate our kitchen and garden waste along with a couple tons of grain that I hauled here pail by pail from my parent's farm. Let's just say that when the job was finally done I wanted to have as much to show for it as possible. So I rendered the pig fat into lard.

back fat trimmings

fat, chopped and rendering in slow cooker

rendered fat, unfiltered 

our own lard, from our own pigs

Not everyone is going to render down their own pig fat. I giggle even as I type the words. But I do a lot of baking and my sister in law likes making pastry. Canola oil went up to $9/gallon last winter. I expect I'll end up with about 6-8 pint sealers of lard by the time I'm done. This is all by-product that might have gone to waste. At $2/lb I could much easier go buy Tenderflake at Walmart, where I saw it just this morning. But that's not my point.

Living a simple, frugal life is about more than saving $15 on lard. It is about taking yourself out of the consumer transaction whenever possible. It might actually be more frugal to feed the fat trimmings to the dog and buy lard at the store, I don't know. But living an invested life means doing the work ourselves to prevent wasting what we have on hand. If there are saskatoons growing roadside my kids and I are going to pick and freeze them for winter rather than get berries at the grocery store. When butter is $6/lb we will buy the cheaper whole cream, make our own butter and bake with the buttermilk. I am lucky that I have the time to cook and bake and mend and grow things. I know not everyone has that option, and not everyone would choose this lifestyle. That's okay too. You should follow your arrow. My arrow seems always to lead me to a simple, quiet path where everything takes longer and is just a little less convenient.

There are certainly times that I curse my penchant for homegrown. There were many days I said "never again" as I lugged heavy pails of grain to those pigs. I am planning a post on the actual cost of raising the three pigs and, on paper at least, it was probably not a money-saving venture. The next time we do it (if we do) we will have to butcher pigs ourselves to save on the considerable cost of processing the animals. But, again, these would be skills that allow us to learn and invest ourselves and save money. In a way, jumping in with both feet, or going "whole hog" is the best way to learn every facet of what we are interested in. And we seem to be interested. Learning to slaughter and process our own animals is the next logical step in our progress here. For now, we are just going to enjoy the food and be proud that we did a good job and made it through to the harvest.

Quietude

Isn't it funny how quiet and still a snowy morning can be?

 This quiet, the expectant silence waiting for the sleep that winter will bring...this I seek in my heart and mind. For the first time in perhaps ever, at least since I was a child, I look forward to the methodical pace of winter. Wood hauled in, ashes hauled out. Plow snow, shovel snow. Play in snow. Sleigh ride. Hunker down. Rest. Sew. Read. Snuggle my boys and savour savour this precious window in their childhood. For if there is one age I remember, and one season, it is the excitement of snow and decorating cookies and making cinnamon buns and waiting for the bus to drop off my brothers so we could eat our homemade treats that we had made for them. And I do remember the quiet. I played with my not-a-barbie doll in a cardboard box that I had made into a doll house and the dramas of her glamorous life were acted out in my mind where only I could hear. That Christmas Santa delivered a doll house, a real house, for my not-a-barbie and I don't believe there's been a gift so special since. The wall paper in her bathroom matched the wall paper in ours, her bedroom carpet the white plush shag of our discarded bathroom mat. She was like a movie star.

There are no more jobs calling me outside. Every year my interest in the garden wanes before I have completed all my jobs and now there is snow on the ground and I can give myself permission to focus my attention indoors. Rooms that need cleaned top to bottom and things that need sorted and tidied and oh so many things to sew. 

Quiet. The quiet pace of our lives slows still more for this season. But my boys will continue to grow. I will tire of the repetition of my daily routine by February and I will drag myself to spring with gritted teeth and big plans for the yard. This I know. This year I enter winter without dreading the length and severity of it. I know that we will make it through. We will be productive, in our way, and we will greet spring with the joy that we now welcome winter. I am ready. Bring it.

Carving Out the Time

Lately I am realizing that living a simple life takes time. All my priorities take time and patience; they require the attention span to see things through to the end. I confess, sometimes I flounder from one task to the next, and I've even wondered if it wouldn't be more "simple" to bring home that take-out meal, hire out some yard work, buy it rather than grow it, and for heaven's sake stop the laborious pastimes of preserving and making do.

If only it were so easy. When I bake my own bread I prefer to start in the morning and then work the raising/baking into the flow of other tasks during the day. On a really productive day we can be working outdoors while there are still things being accomplished inside, like bread raising or laundry washing. Yes it would be easier to dry clothes in the dryer when hanging them outdoors requires lugging them down a flight of stairs, but if I don't show my kids that it can be done they might grow up believing that it can't be done. And I don't like the thought of an entire generation of people that has never tasted home baked goods or worn crinkly drawers, I just don't.

Despite my best efforts today I got my buns started at 3:30 only to realize that we are invited to the farm for supper and waiting for the buns will make us late. Oh well, we will be late and bring buns. I have begun my (second) annual flurry of Christmas crafts to sell mid-November at a small local sale. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment but the disaster of felt and thread and beads and do-dads in my living room is making me a bit OCD right now. I really must get some sense of order restored. But, you see, it all takes time.

I could get my decorations at Walmart possibly for less than it costs me to make them, once I factor in my time. But I like the idea of a handmade item. Every year I buy some pottery from a local artist. She prices her things very reasonably and I now have 4 of her pieces--I like the idea of a neighbour or local person looking upon their Christmas tree to see a variety of the things I have built over the years. Every year I give some away and it brings me joy to see my work in the homes of my loved ones. It takes time, but it is worth the time.

I feel rushed right now. I no sooner complete a task than another rears its head or, worse, I must complete a task or two to even begin the job that needs the most attention. It's the impending threat of a snowfall that is here to stay...things need done outside but the house is driving me into my hibernation/mission of downsizing and decluttering. These walls need washed, the floors, the windows, the shelves have collected strange assortments of toys and sunglasses and things that just don't belong. More tomatoes are ready and I've been given some overripe apples--blessings, they are, I am so grateful to have plenty of food, but on I rush. It's making me feel pulled in every direction.

There is nothing like walking in the door from a playdate and having a child vomit in the porch to help one really prioritize the jobs for the day. Suddenly it is okay to concentrate on laundry and organizing the crafts and subduing the dust bunnies. There is nothing wrong with getting some indoor jobs done while a little boy rests on the couch. We can even work in some stories and a quiet game, and the world will keep on spinning. There is only so much time in a day but I have been reminded that the two reasons I live my simple life the way that I do--baking, gardening, building and reusing and making do--those two reasons sometimes need me to settle for just being mommy and leaving all the other job titles for tomorrow.

I've been wanting to do a mid-month update on some budgeting stuff and I need to figure out how to do the GST for Husband's company (EGADS! Me and numbers, it's just such a dreadful combination) in a way it adds to the sense that I will never be caught up and I will never have the time to do the things that I want. But I must carve out some time. I've whittled away at the number of blogs I read--even realizing one that I followed for years was actually bringing me down. It's important to reevaluate and really spend your time as though it was your money. Quality over quantity. With that, my boys await. I leave you with some birds and stars--I hope you are enjoying your weekend!

perhaps some day I'll figure out how to rotate these pictures. But not today; I haven't the time!

Thrifty Thursday: Treat it Like A Job

This is my sixth "Thrifty Thursday" post. I want to stay motivated as I work on our family budget--part of that motivation is sharing what I am doing. It can be discouraging to read frugal blogs and see how people feed their families on so little money--I feel like I am trying hard and yet I don't see those results. I am sensitive to the fact that many people are frugal out of necessity and don't have the option to "not succeed" in their attempts. The last thing I want to be is patronizing. Nonetheless, I feel like we are bleeding money around here and there are some expensive things we need to save for. I know there are people who want to reduce their spending but do not know where to start..so I am writing these posts for them and myself :) I hope you are inspired and if you can add any ideas of your own I hope you will comment below :)

As a stay-at-home mom, I've often wondered if going back to (paid) work might benefit our family financially, or if I would simply be spinning my wheels to pay a sitter and end up with someone else raising my kids for little financial gain. In my situation I wouldn't earn a great deal more than I would be paying out, once you include the price of fuel for the 45 km (one way) trip to town. Over the years, many of my mom-friends and I have discussed the topic and I thought that I would share something that I said a few years ago. Before I do, I also want to add that every family is different and some need the extra bucks badly enough that, yes, both parents do work. Some families are single working parents, and some parents work and put their children in daycare because that is how they choose to raise their kids. I am not here to judge anyone or say any one method is better than another. I just want to toss around some frugal ideas.

In a conversation a few years ago I said "While my kids are little like this, I don't think of it as how much I can earn but instead I am working on how much I can save".

And I feel like, especially during the lean years where we bought our first house and money was tight when J was a baby, I tried to treat frugality like it was a part-time job. Because I was at home and had some time, I shopped kijiji for second-hand baby items (only for things that did not come to us for free, which most things did). I had my first garden and became hooked on growing our food. But most importantly, I developed the attitude that if half an hour, an hour, two hours a week of my time could save us $30, $50, $100, then it was like I had earned us that money without leaving home or getting a sitter. I want to be clear though: sitting on the internet online shopping is NOT going to save you money unless you only shop for necessary things. Justifying more purchases because they were second hand or on sale or free shipping is a slippery slope. But finding deals on gifts that you would have to buy anyways, waiting to buy something you need until the deal you want turns up, and taking the time to compare prices is something that can be done whether you are employed or not. Treat it like a little part time job that Saves rather than Earns.

An example of this is years ago I went through all of our statements while the baby was asleep. I realized that we had life insurance on our camper payment while also paying for life insurance through a broker. I took the time to inquire about cancelling the policy on the camper, discovered that if I did so over $2000 could be put towards paying off the camper. In the long run, making a simple phone call and following through on the paper work (all while my baby slept!) saved us thousands of dollars on the camper and interest over the period of the loan. During that same time I found that Husband was paying a $20/month fee for his debit card so that he could use any ATM without additional fees! By then we had switched to using the credit card for all purchases so we could collect the Air Miles and he hadn't used his debit card in months. So he was throwing away $20/month in unnecessary fees. Once I cancelled that I put the extra $20/month onto other payments that we were paying interest on. We hadn't noticed the money missing before and just a bit of work on my part redirected that money to paying off debt rather than paying a bank. When we used to have different payments, as soon as one thing was payed off I increased the payment on another by that amount--saving us interest and never allowing us to get used to having that extra money to spend. Within a couple years our only payment was our mortgage and camper.

It is time for me to go through all of our statements again and see where we are leaking money. Recently I caught a fee on our credit card--Sirius Satellite Radio was charging Husband an extra $40 every 3 months for a radio he doesn't even have activated. Although I don't think they are going to reimburse us at least we have put an end to them charging an extra $160/year for a service we aren't using. I feel like if I can save us dollars and cents by actively being frugal and treating money saved like money earned I am contributing to our household income in a tiny way. Husband never has work done on his truck without calling around for quotes and comparing prices. Even this small action has saved thousands over the years. Instead of blindly spending we are trying to get a good look at where our money goes and when the price isn't right we try to wait until the right deal comes along.

I had good luck selling the bit of baby stuff we bought. Most everything came to us from friends, but I did buy a swing and cloth diapers (found them online, a girl was given so many at a diaper shower that she sold a bunch of unused diapers at used prices. Score!). Once I was done with them, I kept the ads up on kijiji until items like that sold, and I delivered them only when I was already planning a trip to town. Sometimes selling things online is a nuisance (generally I have had poor luck and find it very frustrating) but in the instance where the items are in good condition and worth enough money, I try to keep at it and treat it like it's a job. The items that were given to us have been passed on to others for free or saved for my brother and his wife who are now expecting a baby (whoo hoo!!). We always pass on free baby stuff to friends or donate it, but I do try to get some money back out of the things we spent money on.

Once my kids are both in school full-time I may return to work a few days a week and contribute more to our household income. In the event of a crisis I may have to go to work. For now our situation allows me to be home with our kids and try to monitor where money is going. As long as we can afford it this arrangement is working for us. Can you share any ideas where I might save more/earn a few extra dollars from home? I am open to suggestions :)

Cooking In Bulk

Are you sick of hearing that Husband's parents are visiting from Newfoundland this week? I hope not! While the weather is cool I have prepared some baking and meals to take the pressure off myself while we are touring and visiting in the next two weeks. This is something that I do when I know we will be busy, or when I know a friend might be needing some extra meals (ie a baby on the way or my parents during harvest, etc). So this is what I do:

The other day I purchased a few pounds of ground beef and last night I made half of that into meatballs which I baked and froze. I will throw those in the slow cooker with sweet and sour sauce before we leave the house on a busy day of sight-seeing.

Yesterday I made lasagna and chili. My basic meat sauce, chili and lasagna recipes all derive from the same few ingredients to begin with, so it speeds the process to brown the meat and add onion, garlic, peppers and mushrooms and then split into batches. I almost always make these meals in large quantity and freeze into smaller portions to use later or give away.

I don't always want the whole can of each type of beans in my chili, so I freeze the remainder to use next time. Yesterday I used up frozen chick peas and kidney beans and added a can of six-bean medley to the chili mixture.

So now I have 3 meals frozen and ready to be thawed whenever I need a quick fix. I also have in the freezer two homemade loaves of bread, a coconut square, and a loaf of pumpkin bread. If I find the time I would like to add buns and a couple dozen cookies to the list but if the weather dries up the yard desperately needs my attention! 

Do you ever prepare meals ahead of time for when you are busy or have a large group to feed?

A Quick Look at the Garden

It stopped raining today. At least, it stopped raining long enough for us to take a muddy tour around the yard. I didn't know Saskatchewan has a monsoon season, but it is beginning to feel like it. By my records we have had three inches plus one tenth of rain in June. While we were outside the sun was bright and cheery and I could almost hear the weeds growing. It got good and hot and felt like about 400% humidity, so naturally it kicked up a thundershower and we got another half inch in a major downpour this afternoon.

Before we came in for lunch, I snapped a few pictures of what is growing:

Sunflowers have grown an inch or two in the last two days. I haven't mulched yet this year, so I have lots of weeding to do before I finally haul it in. I'm looking for a large quantity for a low price ;)

Red onions, radishes and carrots, beets and peas are doing well. I managed to have it weeded before all this rain. I weeded around the edges of my yellow onions before the boys needed to go in for lunch. I really can't wait to get some mowing done and get on top of the weed situation out there!

One (almost) weed-free zone, at least at the moment. I say "almost" because the four year old picked some pretty weeds to place beside the creeping jenny. I don't have the heart to remove them just yet! 

Finally a look at the sittin' porch. I absolutely love this covered deck. We got the rug yesterday and 4 year old arranged the furniture. This is where we have our snacks and take a rest when we are working in the yard. I look forward to many, many hours spent enjoying this spot in my yard. Have you got a favorite spot to relax in your yard?

Company's Coming

We are having house guests in July. The first group: my friend's three sons (GULP!). The second: Husband's parents are coming from Newfoundland!

There is much to do.

In order to give three rambunctious boys some space and privacy, I want our basement as ready as possible before they get here. That space will also give the in-laws some privacy, so we might as well do as much as we can (for as cheap as possible) ASAP. Of course Husband is away working so I need to get busy while the weather is wet and I can't be outside. Here is a list to keep me motivated:

• doors for basement (bedroom, storage area, furnace room and bathroom)
• trim for around windows and doors, paint and install
• baseboards for entire basement, paint and install
• purchase a bed for basement bedroom (actually, a new bed for us. We will put the old one downstairs)
• return the too-small curtain rod and exchange for a new one
• hang curtains in basement bedroom, outfit the bed with sheets etc
• finish installing waterlines on fixtures in basement bathroom
• get floor mat and new towels for bathroom, possibly a shelf
• possibly set up a tv in rumpus area
• sand and stain stairs to basement and all stair railings
• hang some of our tin signs, art work and pictures down there

 A terrible picture of the sink we put in downstairs. I really like it though, especially since I got it for $100 on kijiji (still new in the box). We painted the bathroom a dark charcoal because I had leftovers from painting some old furniture.

I hung (hanged?) this wallpaper in the basement bathroom yesterday. It is a bold choice for me. I'm glad it is in the basement. 

Once we get a door and trim I will try for nicer pictures. But I'm down to taking pictures with my phone and emailing them to myself, blah blah blah. My old laptop won't take a memory card anymore and we had a 2 year fall down on the "good" laptop which was also 8 years old and had a virus. If I ever disappear from this blog completely you will know that we finally succumbed to obsolescence.

There is also a growing list of what I want to finish outside before the in-laws visit from across the country. That is for another post, however, since it has been wet and cold lately and I need to motivate myself to finish these indoor jobs ASAP. With that in mind, I better get crackin'!

One Perfect Day

Since becoming a mom I have begun to treasure my quiet alone time. I get a fair bit of it because my boys are the best little sleepers and I put them to bed early. Husband is away a lot, so I get to watch Call The Midwife or Downton Abbey and Coronation Street at my leisure.

But sometimes I want more.

Sometimes I want to drink my coffee while it is hot, without fetching things for others or wiping sticky hands or answering the phone. Sometimes I want to do only my favorite things, and I don't want to be interrupted, and I don't want to stop for a snack or a rest.

Well, guess what? That ain't gonna happen.

I have two sons. They are aged two and four. They fight almost non-stop. Their fighting entails screaming, hair-pulling, and the occasional bite. Sometimes I think I'll go crazy. I was raised with four brothers and, although I did grow up knowing how to fight, it was not something we did much of. I am baffled as to why two little boys will not share and why I can't turn my back for one minute without a fight breaking out. After a few weeks of Husband being gone, and if we have not had much outside contact with the world, I am certainly ready for a break when he gets home. But I am realizing that what I need is not to escape from my life for a few hours (not that I'd turn down a trip to the greenhouse alone!) but what I need is more time out with my family together. Instead of just trying to get all the yard work done on Husband's days off, we need to take time for some family activities that bring us closer together. I have reset my expectations and feel more content as a result. Example:

Husband just had four days off. We had planned to take the kids to a street festival in the nearest city. There would be free games, possibly balloons, clowns, you know, kids stuff.

My day began at 1 a.m. with a little boy up to poop. He was up again at 4 a.m. and needed to snuggle mom because he was scared. After a bit of a snuggle I convinced him to return to his own bed because he wiggles so much he keeps me awake. Miracle of miracles I got back to sleep, to be awakened at 5:30 a.m. by a littler, louder boy who never sleeps in, who likes to bounce around, and who always must be fed as soon as he is awake.

SIGH.

Husband was nice enough to take the bouncy one downstairs and I managed to get a bit more sleep. At about 8 a.m. when I came down, I was greeted by the two happiest little boys with hugs and kisses because for once they were up without me. We had our breakfast and packed up a few things to take with us to the festival. We arrived to play some games and ran out of the bouncy castle tokens just in time for lunch.

We ate a delicious lunch of cod, fries, Newfoundland dressing and gravy at a roadside stand. It was a lovely (if pricey) treat and fun for the kids to eat outside. When we got home, 2 year old had a well-deserved nap while Husband and 4 year old began construction on a dog house. I spent the afternoon weeding around the abandoned pond project and I realized, at some point, that we had just pulled off the perfect day together.

I need to stop thinking that the perfect day means I am alone with no one needing me. I used to be alone, before I acquired all these crazy people that live with me. When I was alone I got lonely. I began to wonder if anyone would ever need me. Like, need me when they are scared or when they have to poop at an odd time of day. What I have now is what I always dreamed of. I need to remember that when I am chasing a sticky-fingered boy across the dining room, or when a bath has erupted into a water fight. Whether or not it always goes as planned (usually not), it is perfect. Gotta remember that.

A Room of One's Own

Virginia Woolf said, for a woman to write she must have 400 pounds a year and a room of her own (Not a direct quote. And I couldn't figure out how to make the sign for British money. I'm off to a poor start). I would agree with Virginia, and add that a woman needs a room of her own if she wants to do anything creative. I know, I know. I heard that J. K. Rawlings wrote Harry Potter on the backs of napkins in noisy restaurants. Clearly there are exceptions to the rule. But for me, I am loving finally having a sewing room all to myself. It is where I sew and write this blog, keep track of bills and banking, and I feel that more is possible now that I have a dedicated space for my hobbies. (Clearing the kitchen table to sew, then removing everything for sticky little fingers and snacks every few hours is just not an option anymore).

This room has been a dumping ground in our new home. We did not even have stairs to the basement until this winter, so many things that did not belong were being stored here for lack of storage elsewhere. As we have gained access to the basement and now have our garage as well, I am slowly clearing the clutter and making this room what I had imagined it to be.

I bought this old desk at a flea market. Love those sturdy legs!

I bought this old cabinet on kijiji. I love the glass doors--unfortunately we broke one when we put the shelf in. We don't talk about it--it's too soon.

I have finally organized my material so I can see what I have. I think it is pretty and cheerful behind the glass.

This little room had an elliptical trainer, a 10x13' rug, boxes and toys that have all finally found their proper places in our home. I am not expecting any major works of art to come from my little sewing room. We keep toys in here and it can get a little dusty in the corners. But now that I have a space of my own I hope to dedicate some time each week to my own creativity. When I do that I feel happier and more connected. I think Virginia would be proud.

Do you have a dedicated area where you can craft/ write/ create? 

A Change is as Good as a Rest

Husband was home for 5 full days this past week. The kids were elated--the wrestling and playing was at full volume the whole time. We accomplished some of what needs done around here (painting in basement, wooh-hoo!) and we snuck in a bit of relaxation as well. Daddy left for work early this morning and we are faced with the dreaded long-quiet-first-day of his being gone.

I have written a bit about adjusting to life when daddy is away from home. We are all a year older than when that post was written, but the essence remains true. It is up to me to set the tone for my kids, and also to be very gentle while they adjust to our new/old routine. So today must be a very busy day--we are washing all the household bedding and have happily come up with a flax and quinoa bread recipe all our own. Concerned about salt in our diet I realised that even the bread we were eating (which I love, and I miss so dearly!) was quite high in salt. So I have been trying some different recipes (a post on that later!) and today combined a couple with pleasing results. I won't share the recipe until I tinker with it a bit, but bulger, wheat germ, spelt flour, flax, quinoa and whole wheat flour are some of what it entails.

Having daddy home was a refreshing change. It had been 3 weeks since his last days off--hard on us all. While he was home we were busy, it was tiring, today could be a very depressing day if I let it. But when my four year old looked up at me with big eyes and a quivering lip and said "don't you feel so sad that daddy isn't here?" I didn't try to sugar coat it for him. I said, "yes, it's awfully sad. I'd like to lay down and bawl but I think that would make me feel worse. And it would make you and your brother feel awful. So I'm going to stay busy and try to do things that make me happier. I'm going to try to have a good day even though I miss him". And my boy nodded and and has been by my side helping me all day long. Instead of doing quiet inside chores while the two year old naps, we went out to the cow pasture just outside our yard and filled the wheel barrow with frozen cow patties to add to our compost. Four year old thought it was spectacular: "mommy, this might be gross but it sure is fun!". Nice to remind him that mommy's are fun too--and hopefully it helps the compost ;)

Low-Sodium Diet

Eating a diet that is low in sodium is harder than one might think. We don't keep a salt shaker on the table and I don't add salt to my cooking. I use mostly dried herbs for seasoning, and most of what we eat is homemade--much easier to control salt intake. I read food labels and do my best, almost all the time, to have my kids eat fresh fruit and vegetables rather than packaged, ready-made snacks.

As a new mom, sugar was my biggest concern when feeding my kids. Until my eldest son was diagnosed with childhood nephrotic syndrome, I worried more about sugar and barely glanced at the sodium content on food labels. While I still avoid sugary snacks for my kids, salt has become equally as unwanted for my family. The trouble is, food doesn't have to taste salty to actually be loaded with the unhealthy stuff.

Let me backtrack and explain why we attempt a low(er) sodium diet in our home. Salt leads to fluid retention, a symptom of nephrotic syndrome. When protein leaves my son's body in his urine, his organs and tissue begin to swell with fluid. As it was explained to me by our specialist, salt exacerbates the problem during a relapse of the syndrome. Currently, we are fighting off a relapse and may have to resume prednisone  treatment. Just reading the list of side-effects from this life-saving medication makes me panic inside. Panic inside. But if it turns out that he goes on it again, we resume our calcium and vitamin D supplements, maintain our healthy lifestyle, and be grateful that there is a treatment for this syndrome. And we hope he outgrows it soon. In the meantime, eating as little salt as possible while he has protein in his urine is a no-brainer. But, like I said, it's harder than you think.

The other day, searching for a snack for the boys, I reached for salted peanuts. I checked the label. In one third of a cup (about what I would have given them each) there is 6% of an adults daily sodium. Not bad, I thought, but spied some butter toffee nuts left over from Christmas. 13% of an adult's daily salt intake in the same amount of nuts. And they don't taste salty. Where I am headed with this, you can probably guess, is we have to really check the labels on everything we feed our families. Since that day I have looked for more information on low-sodium diets. I read on one site that for a snack to be considered "low-sodium" it should have fewer than 140 mg salt/serving. Back to the nuts. A third cup of salted nuts has 150 mg of salt, while a third cup of butter toffee nuts has 320 mg of salt. Blow my mind. They had an orange instead.

I am very interested to hear from parents of children with nephrotic syndrome. If you would like to start a conversation, please comment and we can email from there. We are less than a year into this and quite possibly relapsing now. I am grateful that there is a treatment, so grateful, but I would like to hear your experience with prednisone. My thoughts very often turn to those families that might not find such a simple treatment for a sick child, and my heart breaks for them. Go hold your babies close.

Still Kickin'

Well, February is here and along with it the annual struggle to put one foot in front of the other. Temperatures have been -20C and colder for what seems like forever. I consider myself so lucky that I don't have to struggle my kids out the door to a sitter everyday so I can rush in the frigid cold to get to work. Having said that, the daily routine can get, well, monotonous when going outside or into the basement are taken off the agenda. That said, we can't play in the basement anymore because it is now framed and the stack of drywall takes up all the free floor space. As well, the garage is being insulated and I hope to be able to park in it within days!

Winter can wear on us, but as I tell my 4 year old, busy people are happy people. Just because we are indoors does not mean we need to mope or spend our time in front of the television (although that sometimes happens, AHEM!!)

Here are some shots of the projects that are taking place around here these days.

Crocheting dishclothes is the perfect busy-work while watching 'lympics with 4 year old :)

headboard stripped of varnish and ready for a good sanding.
I may have to leave it raw for some time-- 4 year old refuses to let me paint it!

I looooove how this $3 garage sale chair turned out.
It is the 2 year old's chair--painted--so that it can be hosed down after meals!

Did I mention I love this chair?

My little brown rocker that matches this chair is still at the farm and my kids fight over who gets to sit in it. I found this chair at the local charity shop, another $3 find. I stripped it and painted it red and gave it a rough sanding. The boys keep it in the bathroom so they can reach the sink to wash their hands.

The winter has gone by so much faster in our new home. We have visits from gramma and we go to the farm often. Husband is away working so staying busy is really important. How are you passing the time this winter?

Score!

Oh, I just love to find a good deal! I take my kids to see the specialist every three months. We drive about an hour and a half to get there, and across the street from the paediatrician is the Mennonite Closet, a thrift store. At our appointment in the summer I noticed this chair for $60.

Patience pays off. I loved the chair but hated to spend $60 when there were so many other things we needed more in our new house. We stopped by the store on our way to my brother's wedding and though it was still there the price had not dropped. Today I was amazed that the chair had not sold, and the price had been reduced to $40. We snapped it up and were thrilled when he sold it to us for $30. It has a new home in our master bedroom.

I always check the material bins when I am in thrift stores. You can find unique patterns of fabric that might be unavailable or just very expensive at the fabric store. Today I found 4 little bundles of material and the fellow at the store also reduced those prices.

We also got some wonderful old wooden skis that will add character to the bar-in-the-basement that we have planned. All in all, it was a nice day out as a family and the appointments for the kids went well. I hope you are finding ways to keep busy this winter!

Blue Jean Blanket Project

If you have children, especially young ones, you might understand how a project can be started and actually take years to complete. That is what happened with a blue jean blanket that I have finally resumed working on. My eldest son was a baby when I completed a different blanket and began cutting out circles of denim for this pattern. We were having company and when I cleaned up the guest room all the denim got piled in a heap. Then we had baby #2 and that room became the toddler room. So my denim and all thought of the blanket got packed away in a closet.

I have the space to sew again now that we are in our wish house. A few weeks ago I dug out the project and dove in head first. It is so refreshing to see my progress and feel like I am actually getting something done.

In the endless cycle of dishes, laundry, picking up toys and cooking meals, it is easy to fall into a discouraged feeling that every day is the same. Right now I am finding that most days are the same, but in a really productive and self-fulfilling way. I do want to be here with my boys. I enjoy taking care of my family and that includes all the mundane household chores that go with being a stay-at-home-mom. But as they play together more and are growing more independent, I am loving the bit of time that I spend sewing and using the creative side of my brain (without using play-do to do it!).


I saw the pattern on line years ago and loved the look of the blanket. I really like to use denim for beach blankets (sand doesn't stick) and most outdoor use. They are warm to sit on or cuddle under at a hockey game,a sleigh ride, or nice at summer events where you might need to sit on the ground or benches.

The pattern is circles of denim with smaller squares of multi-colored fabric. The circles are sewn together, leaving flaps of denim that are later sewn down to create almost a window-frame effect.

 As shown on the right, I even handstiched a few pieces of old pillow case to add a really homemade feel. I would say that I will have the blanket completed in a couple days. I'll show more pictures then!

Welcome Mittens

This post is long-overdue! At the end of August, Husband began working nearby. He hauled the camper home and also brought a surprise for our boys.

Welcome to the family Mittens! I am not a cat person....in fact, this is the first cat I could stand to have around. But I have to admit she is cute. It took awhile to teach the boys not to man-handle her, and she has been patient and never scratches them. She waits at the door to play with them, and comes running to play when they are outside. Ahem....she has even taken to going down the slide, and runs back up the ladder to wait her turn. Marvelous good fun!

NorthWest of 35

If you are now looking back on an age you once thought of as "old", you are not alone. I have to smile at the way I used to feel sad on a birthday, as though that milestone only highlighted my lack of accomplishments. I am now 36 years old and finally, finally, I feel confident enough to embrace my quirks and individuality rather than trying to blend into the background.

When I was a kid I remember hearing adults say they "wouldn't want to go back" to a certain age. I suppose I wouldn't either. There are sure alot of things I wouldn't do over again if I had the chance, but in that hypothetical scenario I might not end up where I am now. I couldn't take that chance.

I'm not sure what really got me past the awkwardness I've always felt: it could be age but I think for me it is having kids. I want my kids to grow up with confidence in themselves, therefore I must have confidence in myself. To show them how to be good men I must articulate myself clearly, be fair, assert myself, show forgiveness and a level head. Those are not the traits of the self-conscious twenty year old I once was. In that sense, I'm glad that I had my boys a little late. I had to grow up so that I could grow them up, so to speak.

This year, on my birthday, I think I will celebrate by thinking of a few accomplishments I'm so proud of: namely my relationship with my Husband and my two wonderful boys. I am enjoying being myself, pursuing what interests me, learning what I want to know, and building a lifestyle that will bring us continued happiness and security. I'm less concerned about what people think and more concerned about what my children will learn from me. My youthful fear of rejection has blossomed into an attitude of acceptance of others. I want others to be themselves so that I might safely be myself and there is no time like the present. To be healthy, to have a healthy family, to have a friend or two that will have your back no matter what hits the fan, that is a fortune to cherish. I suppose breakfast in bed wouldn't hurt anything either ;)

Busy Work

Having a garage sale in a cold garage, with two kids and no other adult around would be tricky if we weren't in a sleepy little town. My system is to leave the garage locked with a sign to "ring bell if door is locked". I can dress the kids to come out while people look around, and put the baby in the stroller if I need to. There's no point hanging around out there though: the snow is still too deep and crusty for playing, the baby wants to crawl, not sit, and there's not a lot of packing I can do. Instead, I'm working in the kitchen and going out to the garage if and when the bell rings.

I hope I'm not alone when it comes to having too many little bags of spices, crammed here and there and closed with clips, rubber bands or tape. My spice cupboard (or the lack thereof) is shamefully messy.

It's also shamefully icky at the bottom of the tin can where I throw store spices.

So while I need to stay close to the attached garage, I'm keeping busy cleaning up the spice cupboard, putting excess into little jars, and packing them away.

In our new house, I made sure that there is a cupboard large enough (hopefully) to accommodate my many spices. Let's hope I maintain my system of storing and organizing them so that the new shelf doesn't look like this in our new home!

How do you store your extra spices?

The Kindness of Strangers

Despite my best intentions to stop griping about the weather, we are digging out from under a winter storm that brought 60 km/hr winds and dangerous roads to the whole region. In today's high-tech world it is easy to feel confident out travelling. Armed with a cell phone, most people don't worry about venturing out in wild weather. Here at our house we have been reminded that nature is boss.

I've talked about Husband being away right now. He is staying in a hotel about an hour and a half drive from the job. On Wednesday night, after a very windy day, he left work and was called: a co-worker is stuck, can you pull him out? Before Husband even got to the co-worker he pulled out a farmer and his wife that lived nearby. When he found his co-worker he also pulled him out of the snow. The roads were drifted so bad that snow was packing in around the engine of the truck. Within an hour and a half Husband had pulled out more vehicles and become stuck himself, along with his co-worker, and along with the rest of the crew of men. An hour and a half later a tractor arrived, pulling out vehicle after vehicle. In fact, tractors were plowing everywhere attempting to open roads that people were stuck on. By 10 pm the crew of men were all "unstuck" and safely invited into a farmer's home. They were fed a hot meal and provided a warm bed. Between the extended family and a couple different homes, everyone slept inside and was safe from the storm.

During the whole ordeal cell phones kept everyone communicating and no one got lost or left behind. But Mother Nature got to flex her muscles and remind us that being able to call for help does not mean help can get to you. Tractors were getting stuck in the snow while plowing--road graders were getting stuck!--and it was very lucky that the whole lot of them didn't end up having to sleep in their vehicles. Husband was soaked from pulling people out and had a bag of cheezies with him to eat. It would have been a cold, uncomfortable night and a very long day today. Instead, he slept in a bed and woke up to a home-cooked meal...which brings me to my point: How comfortable are we helping strangers? Would we let them into our homes? Feed them? Let them sleep over? It's a wonderful feeling to know there are people left that will do all of the above. Makes me think about karma, or how "what goes around comes around". Husband never passes a vehicle in trouble without stopping to help. That night he was helped. We live in a part of the world where tsunamis and earthquakes and famines are only on the news, but we still have to be prepared for what nature can throw us: namely cold weather and bad roads. I bet I am not ignored the next time I hound Husband about keeping warm emergency clothing in his truck!

In my vehicle I keep: booster cables, gas line anti-freeze, warm socks, mitts, toque, and a homemade jean blanket that I use in summer on the beach, in winter "just in case". When it is very cold I either wear or bring along snow boots. Now that I have children I don't set out on the highway if it is too cold, or I make sure I have diapers etc in case we have to stay over. After this storm I will be adding candles and matches to my winter kit.

Having so many people stranded in this storm made me think also of what I keep in my pantry and freezer. Because we are such a distance from town I keep extra, especially during the winter. In the summer I rely on my garden as well. At any time I probably could host an extra 10-15 people for a meal. It is more likely, though, that we could simply be snowed in with bad roads in every direction (we've sure had enough of that this year!). In that case, I will continue what I've been doing: extra non-perishables and frozen vegetables, ingredients on-hand to bake bread/cookies, in case we are without fresh food for awhile.

Do you stockpile food for the winter? Have you got any tips on keeping busy while stuck in a storm?

The Tie That Binds (The Post I Never Thought I'd Write)

As I've mentioned, Husband works away sometimes. It might be a few days, it might be weeks. This past summer he was home two nights per week with every third weekend off (a four day weekend). After awhile, it takes on a rhythm.

Today I read a post that really made me think, and I'm indebted to Little Home in the Country for presenting what is essentially my own situation to me from such a different perspective.

I'm not a "young mom". I'm 35, mother to a 3 year old and a one year old. I have lived alone in city and country, supported myself, chopped my own wood--the slayer of my own dragons, as it were. So I consider myself fully capable of handling things with Husband gone. And perhaps that is the problem.

My reading today helped me rethink my role and responsibility as a homemaker (indeed, I don't think I've ever referred to myself as such before). I have many friends whose husbands also leave home for work and we discuss the situation often. Yet only vaguely have we delved into how our own attitude and approach to it affects the mood of the whole family. I see now that I am the thread that holds this little family together. Those two sleeping babes rely on me for their information, for their interpretation of what is going on and why daddy is not home. I think it is time that I step up and truly own the impact my attitude has on how everyone is feeling.

Before having kids, Husband worked away from home for a minimum of 3 months per year. We have been lucky these last few years to have work near home, where he could either travel home for days off or be home every night. But even with infrequent absences, a pattern does emerge:

• 3 year old might stop sleeping through the night
• 3 year old might need more reassurance, more snuggle time, might cry for daddy periodically
• the first full night and full day of daddy being gone are the hardest. We then settle into our "daddy is away" routine.
• conversely, the first full day and night of daddy being home again are also the hardest: emotions run high, tantrums and outbursts abound. 

What we do to help our 3 year old through (baby doesn't seem to notice yet, but is all smiles and squeals when daddy gets home!):

• focus on all that we have to get done and our "work".
• Have a busy but not stressful 2 days after daddy goes, ie) a visit with Grams at the farm, or trip to library.
• outside time.
• maintain nap and bedtime schedule. The rules are the rules.
• plenty of time to talk with daddy: morning, afternoon, before bed. We send daddy pictures on the cell phone, we build him crafts, we bake and freeze treats for him too.
• just a note on Skype--Husband went to Newfoundland 2 summers ago and we Skyped. The then 1 and a half year old cried and cried for daddy and tried to hug the computer. It was the most gut-wrenching experience of my life and we were all so upset afterwards we have never done it since.

What I NEED to commit to doing, for myself: 

• time alone. This will be easier when we live on the acreage, near my parents. I've never left my kids with anyone but my mom and, right now, that's an hour away. I try to use naps and after bedtime for "me time" but a scheduled afternoon per week would be tonic to the mama's soul.
• exercise 4 times per week, intentionally and with vigour. It's the vigour that I struggle with ;)
• engage meaningfully, everyday, with my kids through play, snuggling, reading, conversation. This means UNPLUG. Unplug everything and just BE with them.
• once I have some time to myself it will be easier to give it my all during the day. No more stolen glances at the cell phone or sneaking a blog post or reading while they play. Allowing some independent play is fine, but trying to mentally escape my living room for half an hour every afternoon is a bit much. Unplug.
• admit that many of the behaviours I see in my son are in large part due to the behaviours he sees in me. My frustration and fatigue as a lonely sometimes-single-parent can be an ugly mess. I don't want that to be my boys' reaction to life. I want to teach them to cope, to try again, to foster their own happiness. I want them to take responsibility for how they feel and act, and that begins with me. And it begins now.

What we need to do, for daddy:

• This is hard to say. I need to stop acting like it's his "fault" he's gone working. We need the money. He wouldn't leave if he didn't have to and I don't need to punish him for doing what he has to for this family.
• Designate times to visit. Talking on the phone with children screaming for attention is a gong show. But we need to come up with a way to communicate to daddy his importance to us, that he is in our hearts and thoughts, and that we can miss him without being sad.
• I must allow him to be needed again. I'm afraid my "I got this" attitude translates at times into "just send home the pay". I don't want that. That's awful. I need to be capable, but also capable of leaning on the man that I chose to spend the rest of my life with.

Today I realized that along with being a mommy and wife, I make a house a home. I create the vibe here and along with keeping it clean it is my responsibility to keep it positive. No one is happy 100% of the time and I'm not asking that of myself. I want to teach my sons to cope, express themselves thoughtfully, and learn that happiness takes work.

The only way I can figure to teach them that is to show them.