Nurturing competent
young adults
It must be difficult to be a young adult these days. Those
of us that didn’t grow up with the Internet and social media remember a time
where our parents didn’t always know where we were and couldn’t fix everything
for us with a simple phone call.
Are young people still learning to solve problems on their
own, given their access to google to think for them and the bank of mom and dad
to make their worries go away? You have to wonder, especially knowing that
there are now courses in “adulting,” where young people can study online to learn
grown up skills. The fact that a generation of people may not know how to
follow a recipe, change a tire or write out a cheque is baffling if not scary.
Of course, these are sweeping generalizations. Look hard
enough and you will find many young people with great problem solving skills
and an independent outlook. But one has to wonder if the general population of
millennials—children born between 1980 and 2000—is truly prepared to step into
adulthood.
The season of
recognition
The next batch of high school graduates is about to complete
one phase of their lives, the time where they lived at home and had the daily
guidance of parents and teachers to steer them. Looking back, one might ask
whether any of us was really prepared for the real world at that age. But it’s
also hard to resist comparing kids that have never done their own laundry with
the great generation that marched off to war at the same age.
With these two extreme examples comes a spectrum of opinions
on what childhood, adolescence and adulthood should be like. Many would argue
that kids should be kids and not have to face worries about money, survival or
adversity. Many others would argue that shielding youth from these challenges
not only leaves them ill-prepared for real life, but also gives them an
unrealistic expectation of what their future will hold.
If mom and dad have paid the cell phone bill and bought the
brand-name clothes and taught you that you deserve the best that life has to
offer, how will you transition to a minimum wage job, and rent, and a boss that
might not recognize the special wonderfulness you have always been told you
possess?
Cramming for life’s
tests
If you are a parent, you might ask yourself how your kids
are usually allowed to deal with a problem. Depending on their ages, there is
usually a way that you can allow them to safely figure out what to do on their
own.
Whether it’s allowing them to spend their allowance frivolously and then
having them sit out the next shopping trip, or transitioning a few bills into
their names while they still live at home, and ensuring that those bills are
paid on time, there are many ways to ease kids into a more independent role while
still being available to advise them.
If your child is now finishing up high school and will be
leaving home in the next few months, whether entering the work force or off to
post-secondary in the fall, it might not hurt to evaluate some of their skills
while they are still home under your care. Take an hour and change a tire
together. Check the oil in their vehicle and make sure they can top up the
fluids on their own, put air in the tires and boost a dead battery.
Give him or
her an evening a week where they cook for the family. Send them for the
groceries with a set amount of money and a list. Stop doing their laundry and
making their lunches, if you haven’t already. Show your affection in praising
how they are handling these new responsibilities, rather than by doing it all
for them.
Children learn responsibility by having rules and
expectations. As parents, you have tried to nurture their self-esteem and
confidence, but have you given them opportunities to grow capable and
self-sufficient? Can they handle everyday problems and challenges, or should
you spend this summer preparing them for adulthood?
A new world of independence is opening up to this season’s
graduates. They’ve anticipated this moment for years, as have their parents.
With the great adventures and new beginnings come new responsibilities.
Websites like moneymentors.ca and practicalmoneyskills.ca are a helpful jumping
off point if you’d like to make sure your kids are ready to handle their own
money.
Creating competent young people is a combination of nurturing
their emotional growth as well as their practical knowledge. Kids today have
technology to help them, but are at risk of having it stunt their common sense.
Giving them more responsibilities will help grow their independence.
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